


Voicemail

by ForeverDays



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Author is a Toby Smith | Tubbo Apologist, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Parent Alexis | Quackity, President Toby Smith | Tubbo, Sad Alexis | Quackity, Sad Toby Smith | Tubbo, Sort of good Jschlatt, Toby Smith | Tubbo Angst, Toby Smith | Tubbo Has PTSD, Toby Smith | Tubbo Needs a Hug, Toby Smith | Tubbo is Not Okay, Uncle Alexis | Quackity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:40:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29265186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForeverDays/pseuds/ForeverDays
Summary: Tubbo doesn't pick up Quackity's call and Quackity goes to check if he's okay. Tubbo tells him the truth about being president.
Kudos: 117





	Voicemail

**Author's Note:**

> TW// PTSD?, Derealization, Panic Attack
> 
> (Takes place during Tubbo administration)  
> This is my first upload here so hopefully it's not to bad. I'm all good with criticism. I did cross post this.)

Tubbo dropped his pencil and leaned back into his wooden chair, looking at the ceiling and taking in a deep inhale. His head felt as if someone was trying to pull it out of his mind. He felt small tingles along his scalp. His eyes filled with red, white, and blue flashes.

He was taken aback by the sadly familiar colors, falling out of his chair. The bright flashes kept appearing, each time feeling like a hit to the head. 

Tubbo felt himself back in the box, the walls closing in. He felt like he was shrinking every passing second. His breath swerved from its natural pace treating his lungs as if it was a speedrun. 

He could feel his heart start to beat in his ears as the flashes got brighter and the ringing got louder. 

Static started to form in his brain, the ringing sound muffled, and the fireworks toned down to small firecrackers. He tried to hold his arms, his hands, but he felt so distant from reality.

He was holding his arm, but it felt like dust. It felt as if his body was a figment of his imagination. Tubbo could start to hear his breathing, sounding like he was desperate for air. He clung to his shirt.

"Tubbo." he heard from behind him. As he looked behind him, he saw a figure. A man, he wore a suit and was much taller than him. He had mutton chops and arched horns. His eyes were white with no pupils and had pale skin sucked of any life. 

He froze in fear of Schlatt.

“Kid?” Schlatt kneeled to Tubbo, who was still on the ground, attempting to get some idea of balance. He reached out his hand to get the brunette up.  
Tubbo saw the darkness change into daylight. 

Where his desk was a few moments ago was now a wall to a building. He was no longer inside but outside. Around him was Manberg.

He was on the ground in the same position, Schlatt still reaching out his hand in the same place with the same expression.

“Get up, kid. Come on,” Schlatt spoke around his hand for Tubbo to take his helping offer. Schlatt’s eyes were still white with no expression in them. His smile was sickeningly big, his teeth not showing. 

“Get away from me!” Tubbo swats his arms to block Schlatt’s. Upon seeing his arm he noticed his attire. Tubbo was wearing what he wore during the schlatt administration. The same suit, but instead of the flags of L’manberg and El Rapids was the dreaded black and red flag of Manberg.

“Ungrateful.” Schlatt’s glare burned into Tubbo’s mind. Even with no eyes, he could feel the shameful look he would often get. He could hear the words of Schlatt echo in his mind of him not being worth a cent. How he could never "Just do what he was told". He felt the fear he fought, to never feel again. 

Tubbo flinched and closed his eyes tight, prepared to be dragged up by the hair. Nothing happened. When he opened his eyes, he was back in his office. Schlatt was no longer there. It was just him and the darkness. 

He laid in the dark of his office, gasping for air and holding onto himself for dear life. Panic overwhelmed him as he started to feel limp. His breath calmed after a few moments, the ringing stops. 

The silence felt like death as he took a big breath. One that felt so cold and stayed in the back of his throat even after exhaling. 

He felt empty. He thought that was it as he laid incapable of moving. His legs felt as if they had so much energy in them, yet he was struggling to move them. His arms felt non-existent, and his face felt numb but warm. He let out a small cry as he heard a noise erupt from his desk. 

His phone started ringing, and he could hear it clear as day, but he couldn’t move. Even if he could, he wouldn’t have picked up.

Not far from the office was Quackity. He was walking the path that entered L’manberg as he realized his call had been rejected. 

“What the fuck?” Quackity raised down his phone in annoyance. Tubbo had never sent him to voicemail before. Big Q knew for certain he had to be up. 

Sure, it was late. It was near midnight, but that was not an excuse for Tubbo. Tubbo always answered. He was always awake.  
Big Q continued down the path, lost in thought about why he hadn’t picked up. 

Tubbo could be asleep, but it wasn’t likely. He could be working, but he often considered calls to be a part of work. That’s why he always answered. 

Since Tubbo became president, he had changed a lot. Not because he wanted to, but because he felt the need to. Tubbo was always busy. He was the person who had a project to work on every day.

He rarely slept up and often had to be reminded to eat or shower due to his dedication to getting everything done, and when he got it all done, there was always more to do. 

Big Q often blamed himself for him being that way. Sure, he was always busy even before Tubbo met him, but he was never this bad before the Schlatt administration he heard. 

Schlatt put him to work often, and he noticed that when he stopped, Schlatt would notice, and give him shit about being lazy. To be honest, most of the time Quackity wasn't sure what to do. 

He cared about Schlatt. Even if it was only a little, he still cared about him. Schlatt was around. He was someone to talk to. At the time, Big Q had put trust in him. He thought that even with his strict rules and selfish demeanor, they could build a better country. 

Quackity saw how Schlatt treated Tubbo, like a robot that needed to be re-programmed, but he thought maybe it was all out of love. Schlatt had told Quackity he felt like a father to the boy, so Quackity assumed it was just some strict form of parenting. 

He should have said something to Schlatt, but in truth, he didn't want to get involved. He didn’t want another thing to argue about with Schlatt. He had to consider the political aspects of their relationship. 

Schlatt wasn’t all bad even in the end, at least to him. There were some good memories. They would sometimes on late nights, pour some whiskey and talk about whatever was on their minds. They would talk about all things from stupid jokes to past mistakes and deep regrets. Schlatt never made fun of him then. He never put him down. The facade would fall for a few hours. 

They were alike in some ways he learned. They both put on temporary masks, so they never had to face the real truth.  
They both took to outlets to make it all seem less than it was. Schlatt had his work and sadly, drinking. Quackity had other people to turn to in times of need. It was a trait everyone in the administration had, even Tubbo.

Quackity didn’t miss the administration, and he didn’t necessarily miss Schlatt. He just wished his idea of it would have worked. He wished they would have built a better country, he wished he would’ve helped Tubbo, he wished he would have stopped Schlatt’s addictions that caused his death.  
He wished he could go back, and maybe one day he might. 

Schlatt’s death didn’t sadden Quackity. What did was that he could’ve stopped it. He could’ve put efforts to make him better. Those nights where he got to talk to real Schlatt, he missed that. Maybe he did miss Schlatt. 

Quackity stopped in his tracks clearing his mind from the thoughts that seemed to be growing back into his mind. He stood next to Tubbo’s office. The wind had started to pick up, causing him to shiver a small bit. Have you ever had a feeling that something was off? You weren’t sure what, but it was the universe telling you you had forgotten something. 

That’s what Quackity felt as his thoughts focused only on sudden worry. His stomach dropped and his heart started to beat just a little bit faster.  
He felt a pull towards the office, one that made him knock on the wooden door and spoke worryingly under his breath. 

“Tubbo?” His cold knuckles knocked against the door once again.  
No response was heard from the other side. The wind could’ve blocked it out from how bad it was getting, so he decided it would just be best to intrude. He had given a heads up, hasn't he? 

He opened the door and closed it quickly to keep out the cold. When he turned to the room, he couldn’t see a single thing but the flashing from Tubbo’s candle on his desk. 

“Tubbo? You here?” Quackity asked as he rubbed his hand against the wall, trying to find the light switch. Maybe he had headed home for the night. 

He found the switch and flipped as the light left his sight in a blur for a few seconds as his eyes got used to the sudden light coming from the round ceiling light. 

When his vision cleared, he saw a fallen chair and a messy desk with scattered papers, some finding themselves on the wooden flooring.  
In the corner was Tubbo. He wrapped himself up in a ball, his head buried in his knees, rocking back and forth, hitting his back against the wall. 

“Tubbo?” Big Q’s voice peaked as he slowly approached him, his brown eyes filled with worry and his eyebrows heavily arched. He made sure he was slow in steps so he wouldn't startle Tubbo. 

Tubbo didn’t seem to change at all. He acted as if Big Q had never walked in the room as if the lights had never changed.

“Kid?” Quackity now stood in front of Tubbo, which felt more like hovering to Tubbo. The word made him look at Quackity in an instant. 

Tubbo was expected to be greeted by his former boss. He tried to hold back his tears as he looked up. Who he saw wasn’t someone he feared, it was someone he was allied with. A man in a blue sweatshirt, black pants and shoes, and fringed black hair covered by a darker blue beanie. 

Quackity’s mind froze as Tubbo looked up, his stomach no longer felt queasy, dropping. His breath suddenly turned cold as he examined Tubbo.

His suit tie was loose, shirt un-tucked, and his first button undone. His sleeves were rolled up, and his hands holding onto his arms. His skin had extreme red undertones with wet and dried tears layered on his face. His nose was scrunched, and his mouth moved as he tried to stop crying. 

His eyes weren’t too visible as they were barely open, tears covered most of his vision. His eyebrows arched, and his forehead had prominent lines. His brown hair was in multiple directions and looked like he had never brushed it in his life. 

Tubbo’s mask had fallen, and Quackity was there to see the reveal. Tubbo sniffled, trying to speak, but his attempt failed, only making him produce more tears and small cries. 

Quackity immediately joined Tubbo on the ground embracing him in a hug. Tubbo accepted the hug clinging onto Quackity’s sweatshirt and crying to his shoulder. 

“I got you, kid. I got you.” Big Q hushed swaying back and forth with Tubbo. He suddenly felt a feeling he had never felt before. 

Quackity’s brain scattered to place what he felt, but he couldn't seem to place it. He just knew he needed to protect him. He needed to help. A thought quickly hit him; he needed to be there like he should’ve been before. 

“I’ll keep you safe.” Big Q was going to protect him from whatever put him in this state.

Tubbo heard the words Big Q spoke as he held him. They hit Tubbo like an arrow. He only let out more cries. He wanted to hold back his tears, said he was okay, and put on a fake smile, but he couldn’t. 

It was too late. Tubbo had wanted to let this out for so long. So long he had been holding it all in. It hurt, but he needed it. 

He started to let out painful hiccups while Big Q continued to hold him. They sat there for minutes as Tubbo let out the pained cries that he had been holding back for years.

Tubbo soon felt the tears dry on his skin and took his head away from Quackity’s shoulder. Quackity quickly noticed distancing himself to no longer have a hold on the brunette, looking him in the now clearing eyes.

“I’m sorry.” Tubbo sniffled, pulling the sleeve of his suit to his nose to wipe away the small amount of snot he had created.  
Quackity gave him a gentle smile, his expression mixed in worry and understanding. 

“It’s alright. It’s okay to cry. Keep this a secret, but I’ve cried before too.” Quackity smiled at him trying to see if he had any tissues. He didn’t have any at hand.

Tubbo gave a small laugh at the statement. He wiped his few remaining tears with his hand, clearing his now sore throat. 

“I-” Tubbo found himself stumbling over his thoughts, trying to form an explanation. 

“I can’t do this.” He let out with a sighed relief of putting it out in the open. It was something he wanted to say yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that. 

Big Q gave him a confused expression. 

“You mean to be president?” He asked. He wasn’t completely sure what Tubbo was saying. That sentence could imply nearly anything. 

Tubbo shook his head and took a deep breath. 

“I can’t do this, Big Q. I can’t forget, I can’t move on.” He said leaving Big Q in silence. He wasn’t sure how to respond. Tubbo continued;

“I don’t know what happened. Not even two years ago I was with Tommy walking down the river and playing in the backyard. We used to play imagine a lot with Techno. Techno always played King funny enough. We would always have to stop playing because Tommy would try to fight him and always get hurt. Phil hated Kings and Soldiers. But now… he’s gone and Techno is my enemy. Phil hates me and Wil is dead. What happened?” Tubbo stared into space as he admitted what he felt and what he missed.

Big Q was saddened by it. He played a part in his feud with Technoblade. Quackity never had a family, but he couldn’t imagine the pain of having a broken one. 

“Do you remember anything else?” Quackity asked, hoping to hear more stories of the sbi family.

Tubbo sighed thinking for a moment before looking down.

“Not much before war. I can’t even remember sane Wilbur, even memories of the first war are corrupted by his face before death. Same for everyone. Techno I can sort of remember but I just can’t get the rockets out of my mind.” Tubbo started to doze off trying to form a memory correctly.

Big Q put his hand on Tubbo's shoulder to keep him in reality and not lose him to memories.

“Sorry. I remember Tommy a bit, but I’d like to keep it to myself if that's okay. I want to keep them safe, hidden. I miss him the most.” Tubbo tried not to start crying again, but a tear still managed to escape. Big Q gave him a gentle smile as he did before. 

“Yeah, that's alright.” 

They sat for a while just enjoying each other's presence before Quackity spoke out of nowhere, interrupting the sound of crickets from the outside.

“You’re not Schlatt.” 

Tubbo turned to him, taken aback by the quick statement.

“They compare you a lot. They didn’t know him. You did, I did. You’re not like him.” Big Q’s words were awkward, to say the least. 

Tubbo was conflicted on how to feel.

“Do you miss him?” Tubbo asked.

“Nah. I’m glad that motherfucker is dead.” Quackity laughed. Why did he lie just now?


End file.
